Beneath The Landslide (Chapter One)
by beneaththelandslide
Summary: Set directly after the last scene in 2x07. While Rae and Finn did get their "happy ending," there are still challenges to be faces within their relationship and within themselves.


**Beneath the Landslide**

**Chapter One: Wonderwall**

The silence roared in Rae's ears as she placed her hands over Finn's. There was no cushioning to this moment. No music, no alcohol, no cheeky banter. Just two minds, two bodies. Just Rae and Finn. They were more alone and more together than they had ever been; it was raw, and real, and beautiful, and fucking terrifying.

Rae knew that she was changing, that she was learning to accept and love herself. She was a different person from the terrified, delicate girl that had pulled the fire alarm at college just a few months ago. As Finn had reminded her in the hospital, she was strong. And she truly felt that way.

But when she was about to show another human being—and on top of that, Finn "Epic Slice" Nelson—her naked body, that new-found strength alluded her. Softly, she lowered his hands, pushing them away from the belt of her robe. She knew that she wanted this: to be with him, to erase the feeling of Liam from her body, to know all of Finn. And she could have it, finally. But she wanted to be the one to take it. As frightening as it was, Rae wanted to prove to Finn that she could be comfortable with herself. That she could be the girl he thought she was.

Before she could hesitate, Rae unknotted the belt, allowing the loose ends to fall at her side. Finn flashed her that reassuring smile that she had grown to love, and she nervously grinned back. This was either Heaven or Hell- she couldn't decide. Gently, he tucked her hair behind her left ear, and even that small touch ignited sparks beneath her skin. She knew that removing the entire robe would be too overwhelming, and so he met her half way. Without pause, he slid the terry cloth fabric over her shoulders, sending it to the floor. The robe landed with a resounding thud.

So there she was. Naked in every imaginable way, at her most vulnerable. Just Rae. Only Rae. And it was in that moment, when she looked into Finn's adoring eyes, that she found her strength again.

- the next night -

"She looks like you."

"Fuck off."

"Wha? She does!"

Rae nudged Finn in the shin, but she couldn't keep herself from smiling. He looked too delicious and adorable holdinga baby in his arms.

"And how exactly does she look like me? Do I look like a baby or something?"

Finn snickered. "No, no, 'course not. I can't explain it. Maybe it's her eyes."

"Or maybe you're just full of shit?"

They both laughed as Finn gently set Buschtatin her cot. As she was finally asleep, and Karim and Rae's mum were out, a rare hush fell over the house. Finn reclaimed his spot next to Rae at the end of her mum's bed, placing one arm behind her back.

"She is pretty brilliant, though, isn't she?" Rae mused as she observed the tiny human. She could never have envisioned herself being an older sister, let alone one who cared so deeply. It almost scared her how much she cared. Finn smiled warmly and nuzzled his nose into Rae's shoulder.

"Crap name, though," she added. Finn leaned into Rae as he chuckled.

"It's… unique."

"Unique, yeah," she said between laughs. "Fuck, Mum and Karim aren't even giving her a chance."

"S'alright. Anyone who tries to take the piss out of her will have me to answer to."

Rae turned towards Finn, no longer feeling humorous. She remembered how he had protected her over the summer when Big G and his mates were harassing her. That was the moment when everything started to change; she couldn't believe where they were now.

"What?"

"Nothing, what?" Rae shyly replied.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking… that right now might be a good time for a repeat of last night."

Last night. Sweet Jesus, last night.

Rae still couldn't comprehend how something that was so uncomfortable and impersonal with Liam could be so superb with Finn. Obviously, she'd known all along that Finn was a sex god, sent from another realm to cherish and corrupt her, but she never dreamed that it would be that first-rate. In the back of her mind, she knew that he had acquired those sweet, sweet skills somewhere, but she was nowhere near prepared to confront those thoughts just yet.

Rae leaned her forehead against Finn's, taking in his delicious scent. There was no describing what it felt like being this close to him, having his skin touch hers. Having sex with him had undoubtedly alleviated some of the insecurities she'd had about their relationship. She knew that he truly wanted to be with her. But the struggle to accept that she deserved somebody as exceptional as Finn was still far from over. For now, though, he was just intoxicating enough to make her forget.

As their lips met, Finn cupped the side of her face with his hands, breathing Rae in and pulling her closer. She gladly leaned into him, taking his bottom lip between hers. Oh God, how could she already be horned up? This was bloody embarrassing. Her libido took over as she reached for the bottom of his t-shirt and willed it to unleash his flawless abdomen from its cruel cage.

For the first time since they'd met, Finn halted the physical contact.

"Rae," he whispered, sneaking another kiss before he spoke again. "I really want to. I mean, _really._"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well, first of all, Buschtat'sright there… Doesn't really feel right, does it? But also, we never got to talk last night."

"I thought you said what we did was much better than talking."

"It was!" he quickly replied, smiling. "Trust me, it was. Not that I don't love talking to ya, but last night was pretty fooking brilliant."

Rae couldn't help herself from blushing as she remembered exactly what made it so brilliant.

"But… I have some questions. And I'm sure you have some questions, too. About these past couple o'months. About us."

"I don't have any questions, Finn. I trust you; I know who you are. I just… had some stuff I needed to sort out. And I did. I sorted it, and I'm okay now."

Before Finn could speak, Rae kissed him again, this time with more fervor. She put her hand on his shoulder and gripped his gray shirt, appreciatively humming into his mouth. She could feel him forgetting his worries, just as she had forgotten hers. But soon enough, he pulled away again.

"Don't distract me," he chided.

"But I like distracting ya," Rae said, her hands making a beeline for his jeans. She had no idea where this coy seductress had come from, but she wasn't about to will her away.

"Oh n-no, you don't." Finn stumbled over his words as he leapt off the bed, away from Rae's reach. His tone was still light, but she could see the serious intention behind his eyes. "C'mon, Rae, I'm serious. I don't want to do this unless it's right."

"What's wrong about it?"

"Nothing's wrong exactly… I just… I'm nervous, alright? Last time, everything seemed fine, and then you randomly chucked me. And I know that you were going through something, I get that. But that didn't make it any easier."

Well, that certainly changed the mood. Rae gathered herself and sat up on the bed. She looked to Finn and could see remnants of hurt and confusion in his eyes. It stung her to her core.

"Look, Finn, I'm so sorry. I hate myself for hurting you. I wish I could take it back somehow, or at least make it up to you. And I promise, I _promise,_ I won't do anything like that again."

Finn sighed as he sat back down on the bed. "You don't have to make it up to me; I don't care about that. I just want to understand why you did it? Did I do something wrong?"

Here it was. The exact conversation Rae was so desperate to avoid. The truth was, she just wasn't ready to have it. Yes, she was firmly on the road to self-acceptance, but that didn't mean she was prepared for self-analysis. She meant it when she said that she hated herself for what she did to Finn, and thinking back to that night… To those emotions…. She couldn't handle that right now.

"You didn't do anything wrong. Please believe that. And everything else… it's just difficult to explain."

"Try?" he said softly.

"I can't. I just… I can't. Not yet. I'm sorry."

Finn's face dropped. A few prolonged seconds passed between them as Rae began to feel the world closing in again. _One day_. She just wanted one bloody day of uninterrupted happiness. And the worst part of all was she was the only one who could give that to herself.

"Look, now that we finally got Buschtat to sleep, maybe we should call it a night, yeah? I'm pretty tired, anyways."

"Yeah," he said with a shrug, frowning at his hands. "Yeah, me too."

Grabbing his jean jacket from the bed, he shoved his arms into it and made his way towards the bedroom door. Rae followed, already missing him and resenting herself.

"I'm sorry, Finn."

"Nah, it's fine. You don't have to apologize," he replied nonchalantly. Rae recognized this colder, distant Finn.

"No, I do have to apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that things are never easy with me."

At that remark, Finn smiled. A genuine smile. Seeing that immediately relieved some of the pressure from Rae's heart.

"True," he remarked, still grinning. "Easy is boring, though."

Rae smiled, despite herself. After planting a tender kiss on her lips, Finn descended the stairs and yelled up, "I'll see you tomorrow, then? At Archie's?"

Rae had completely forgotten about Archie's party. Where they would have to tell the gang—and more importantly, Chloe—that they were back together. She quickly nodded before he reached the door.

As soon as he left, Buschtat began to cry. Maybe she was just wet, or maybe it was sisterly instinct that told her that Rae was in for a hell of a ride.


End file.
